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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  January 23, 2016 12:37am-1:37am EST

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[ cheers and applause ] 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- rashida jones. from "kocktails with khloe," khloe kardashian. star of "crazy ex-girlfriend," golden globe-winner, rachel bloom. featuring the 8g band with glenn kotchie. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doin' tonight? [ cheers and applause ] well, isn't that wonderful to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. earlier tonight, there was another republican debate, and this morning, the oscar
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here are the nominees. "the big short." "bridge of spies." "the revenant." "the martian" and "mad max fury road." [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] why are you so mad? why are you so mad, max? that's right, oscar nominations were announced today and sylvester stallone is up for best supporting actor. stallone said today, that it was an honor to be nominated. or he said it's an awkward denominator. [ laughter ] impossible to know. [ mumbling ] [ laughter ] [ stallone impression ] live a long life and do a lot of movies and then, you know, the people from the oscars call up and say, hey, we got good news for you. i say, what's the news? [ mumbling ] it's an awkward denominator.
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[ cheers and applause ] donald trump said this week that his high poll numbers in massachusetts are due to his support from patriots' quarterback tom brady. man, what is it with tom brady and deflated leather balls? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] it's like he has a thing for them. a new poll shows that in the last month, hillary clinton's lead in iowa has shrunk from 9% to 2%. meanwhile, her fake smile has grown 200%. [ laughter ] what are the most recent polls? that is wonderful! [ light laughter ] wonderful news! jeb bush has released a new ad showing clips of mean things donald trump has said on the campaign trail. he also released his new campaign slogan "i'm telling!" [ laughter ] "you're mean, and i'm telling everybody!" there's a new video out showing
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apple watch for the first time. and the former governor seemed shocked the watch can talk. to which the watch replied, "i felt the same way about you!" [ light laughter ] "i'm telling!" [ laughter ] a new york man appeared in court yesterday on charges that he exposed himself on a subway platform, and asked a woman, quote, "can i masturbate to you?" that's horrible. it should be, "may i masturbate to you?" we're not animals. this is a civil society. [ light laughter ] [ scattered applause ] smattering of applause from the polite masturbators in the audience. [ laughter and applause ] absolutely! [ cheers and applause ] yeah! i also say, "m'lady." [ light laughter ] a group in colorado has set a new world record for largest sticker ball after combining
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9 foot wide 232 pound ball which proves one thing. weed is definitely legal in colorado. [ laughter ] dude, you know what we should do? what? sticker ball. [ laughter ] hey, dad. get ready to be proud of me. [ laughter ] and finally, a woman was arrested at an atlanta area waffle house for assaulting another customer, breaking a window and then stripping naked in the restaurant. or as it's known at the waffle house, "dinner and a show!" [ laughter ] we have a fantastic -- [ cheers and applause ] man, oh, man. such a fantastic show tonight. we have a great lineup of guests, but we also -- we have a surprise guest. and i'm so happy he's here, i can't believe he's here. fresh off his interview with
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recapture, please welcome to the show, el chapo! [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> seth: i am -- thank you so much for being here, el chapo. >> hola! [ laughter ] buenos dias. >> seth: i mean, i can't believe you're here. thank you for being here. >> this is very good to be here. >> seth: i mean, we were just -- we were just so excited when you agreed to come on the show. >> well, you know, after my interview with sean penn, i started thinking, i should do more press, you know, promote my projects. [ laughter ] tell anecdotes, you know, wear fun shirts, let people know that i'm not a bad guy, you know. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, yeah.
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here. now, recently i read reports just came out that you didn't actually know who sean penn was before the interview. is that true? >> si, si. [ laughter ] my lawyer called and he said, "sean penn wants to meet." i say -- [ speaking spanish ] he say "he's a actor." i say, "what movies has he been in." he said, "tu sabes fast time at ridgemont high?" i said, no. he say, "tu sabes shenghai surprise?" i say, no. [ laughter ] he said, "tu sabes i am sam?" i say, no. so then i start naming my favorite movies i've seen to see if sean penn was in those. [ laughter ] >> seth: sure, yeah. >> right? so i say, was he in "space jams?" [ laughter ] he say no. i say "los hangovers?" [ laughter ] no. i say how about "star war: episode i the phantom menace?"
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he say, no. so then my lawyer goes back to naming sean penn movies. he say, "did you 'see mystic river?'" ay yay yay, i say, no! [ laughter ] he say, you see "milk?" >> seth: okay, sorry -- just real quick, i'm sorry to cut you off. how long did this back and forth with you and your lawyer go? >> about two or three hours. [ laughter ] >> seth: now another thing i read is that you -- the reason you eventually agreed to meet with sean penn is that you were interested in making a movie about your life, is that true? >> si. si. i have an idea for animated kids' movie based on my life. [ laughter ] and i play the voice of a bunny rabbit. [ laughter ] >> seth: really? >> it's called el hopo. >> seth: el hopo. that's a good name. i will say, that sounds cute. >> well, thank you. el hopo is a cute bunny with floppy ears. >> seth: oh, that's nice. >> and a furry tail and also a
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[ laughter ] >> seth: now, see, that doesn't sound like a kids' movie any more. >> of course it is. i mean, it is a kids' movie, because it's a bunny. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, but still, with a drug empire, i don't think so. >> okay. but do you know "inside out?" >> seth: sure. >> that movie where she has to find her "yoy?" [ laughter ] >> seth: her joy, yeah. >> you remember, she has to find her "yoy." >> seth: yeah, i remember, she has to find her joy. >> well, this is the same. but instead of finding "yoy," el hopo has to find a dog named pablo escobark. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, and is pablo escobark his friend? >> no, no, no, it's his rival. el hopo shoot him in the head. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, no. >> hop, hop, hop! bang, bang, bang! [ laughter ] >> seth: this is -- i stand by what i originally said, this is not a kids' movie. >> well, it is, seth, because i say it is. >> seth: oh, okay. i'm sorry, i wanna ask something else, shouldn't you be in jail right now? >> oh. [ laughter ]
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[ laughter ] my bad! [ door knocks ] >> open up, it's the policia! >> hide me, hide me! [ laughter ] >> we're looking for el chapo! >> el chapo! el chapo? >> el chapo! >> seth: no, no, it's just me. [ laughter ] [ whispering ] >> and my lamp! >> seth: it's just me and my lamp. [ laughter ] >> well, if you see him, tell him to come back to jail. >> we're not joking around! >> it's time for jokes is over! >> no more jokes! >> seth: okay. ooh. they're gone. >> is it clear? >> seth: yeah. >> whew-hoo! that was a close one. >> seth: that was a close one. hey, i hope you stick around. we have a great show tonight, el chapo. great show. >> oh, who's here tonight? >> seth: we have a wonderful actress, a dear friend of mine. rashida jones is here tonight.
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do you like rashida jones? >> ooh! rashida jones! [ laughter ] >> seth: she has a new show on tbs called "angie tribeca." >> you know what, i'm going to put that in my dbr. >> seth: okay, great. also, she has a new talk show called "kocktails with khloe." khloe kardashian is with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] >> please. please tell me that cocktails is spelled with a, "k." >> seth: yes, she does spell it with a k. >> oh, perfect. [ laughter ] i'm also going to put that on my dbr. >> seth: okay, great. also, very excited about this. win. the star and creator of "crazy rachel bloom is here tonight! [ cheers and applause ] >> yes, "crazy ex-girlfriend." i've had a few of those myself. >> seth: her show is great. you're gonna love it. >> i hope so. you know what, i might not have room on my dbr, but i try.
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thank you, everybody. give it up for el chapo! we'll be right back with more "late night"! [ cheers and applause ] [electronic sound effects] brace yourself... the first ever gsf is here. with a 467 horse power v8 engine... torque vectoring differential... and brembo brakes. it's the next expression of
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mom? your dad won't call an exterminator... can i call you back, mom? he says it's personal this time... if you're a mom, you call at the worst time. it's what you do. if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. r it's what you do. where are you?r it's very loud there. are you taking at zumba class? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," every!
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band! [ cheers and applause ] also, he's back with us tonight, he's been sitting in all week, from wilco. glenn kotche is here. everybody. [ cheers and applause ] glenn has a new album, "drumkit quartets." comprised of songs he composed for, so percussion. the album is out on february 26th on cantaloupe music. and you can catch glenn, along with so percussion, performing at carnegie hall on february 12th. cannot thank you enough for the thank you so much for being here. >> it's been great. thank you, guys. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: also everybody, give it up for horatio sanz who was just with us. [ cheers and applause ] and check out his new latino comedy studio "mas mejor" on youtube. it's very funny stuff. and anything that has horatio in it is very funny stuff. well, it is 2016, and needless to say, with the new year comes a lot of -- wait, i am very sorry, i could be wrong here, but i think i smell some smoke. and that could only mean one thing.
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[ cheers and applause ] welcome to burn zone! we've got a lot of topics to sizzle through. but not a lot of time. over here is the burner. let's turn on the gas and load her up. woo! [ light laughter ] first up, powerball! the powerball lottery jackpot reached over $1.5 billion. and everyone in america spent all week rushing to get in on the action. i thought there was a shooting in my bodega tuesday, but it was just eight cops buying lottery tickets. [ light laughter ] the only way to spend your money with a smaller chance of success is to donate to the jeb bush campaign. side burn jeb bush. >> side burn! [ laughter ] >> seth: did you know that the odds of winning the lottery are 1 in 292 million? that's roughly the same odds as getting struck by lightning while winning the lottery. [ laughter ] also, spare a thought for your local convenience store worker. those guys have been overwhelmed. i bought a cliff bar yesterday, and the guy muttered "good luck." [ laughter ]
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number, and ya burnt! [ applause ] hey, chapstick! where are you? i wanted soft lips, not a scavenger hunt. you're harder to find than a trump supporter in a turban. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] and why are your only flavor options cherry or hospital. oh, wait, you do come in another flavor, cherry-hospital? chapstick, wax off, wax on, ya burnt. [ applause ] surprise award winners, please, you were one of five nominees. stop acting like you won the powerball. [ laughter ] and i'm sorry, kate winslet, you're a treasure on multiple continents, but it can't possibly be a shock to you every time win something. bonds hit a home run, he went, "what, me? [ laughter ] out of the stadium?" surprise award winners, here's a shocker, ya burnt! [ applause ] turtle necks. the shirt that asks, "what if my head looked uncircumcised? [ laughter ] if i wanted to know what it's like to not have a neck, i'd just ask cee lo green.
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>> cee lo yeah. [ applause ] >> seth: and mock turtle necks? here's a simple test to determine whether you should wear one. are you steve jobs? no? then no. [ laughter ] and who is the genius who names something you wear after a turtle's neck? as if anyone wanted that. [ laughter ] i think we would sell more neckties if we called them pig dicks. [ laughter ] hey turtle necks, your style is turnt, and now ya burnt. [ applause ] blair walsh. the nfl kicker who ended the vikings' season when he shanked a 27-yard field goal. look, you've been a rockstar all season. you have one of the hardest jobs in sports and no one ever gives you any credit. you may have slipped up this time, but you're still okay in my book and that's why you're this weeks unburnable. ascend strait through those goal posts to safety. [ applause ] son of a -- that's on us. that's my shank. [ laughter ] paul ryan. you sat completely stone-faced during president obama's entire state of the union address. you didn't clap when he said we should help people battling drug abuse, you didn't clap when he said america is the most powerful nation on earth.
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should cure cancer. is the jury still out for you on cancer? [ laughter ] let's face it, you just didn't want to react to anything. look how hard you tried not to laugh when president obama made a joke. >> i know some of you are antsy to get back to iowa. [ laughter ] >> seth: you look like you're trying to hold in a mouth fart! [ laughter ] paul ryan -- more like paul fryin', because ya burnt! up next, lifelong friends. you -- [ buzzer ] oh, that buzzer means we''ve run out of time. looks like i'll have to trash your never ended love and support next time. this has been ya burnt! [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with rashida jones! ahh... yeah! ahh... ahh... ah. you probably say it
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody. our first guest tonight is a very funny actress, who you know from her work on the hit nbc shows "the office" and "parks and recreation." she's starring as detective angie tribeca in the new tbs comedy series, which premiers this sunday night, followed by a 25-hour marathon of all 10 episodes of season 1. let's take a look. >> i'm not gonna let you risk the department's money on a gamble! >> it's only gambling if there's chance involved. and i've never lost at poker. >> the only way to get that kind of money would be to shut the police department down for a day. is that what you want? all right. let's give it a try. [ screams ] [ gunshots ] [ alarm ] >> seth: please welcome to the show, rashida jones!
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>> seth: how are you? >> i'm good, how are you? >> seth: you look lovely as always. >> thank you, i'm here. >> seth: i'm so happy you're finally here, because we have been friends forever. >> i know. >> seth: we have been friends for a very long time. never dated. >> never dated. >> seth: never dated. we did for a long time on your wikipedia page, it said we dated. >> yeah, we had a romantic history. >> seth: and that was big for me. [ laughter ] it was not real, but it was big. and it's really just based -- your theory is, it's based on one photo. >> 100%. it's one photo. we're also not really doing anything to each other. >> seth: we went to a movie together, and we took this photo. and that is what earned me a romantic fictional history with you. [ laughter ] >> we just look like we like each other a bunch. >> seth: we just like each other. and this is a while back. 'cause you will notice, i am wearing a hooded sweatshirt and a blazer. [ laughter ] >> with a t-shirt. >> seth: which is no longer an
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and i do -- i don't wanna make a big deal about this. but see these plaid pants right there? that was a huge fight with my wife and i. these pants. i kept those pants around a lot longer. >> did you lose that battle? >> seth: of course i did. [ laughter ] that's what happens when you're in a real relationship. you would have let me keep the pants. because we're not a real couple. >> that's true, 'cause we never dated. [ laughter ] >> seth: congrats on the show. that's such a perfect clip, i feel like, to exhibit what you're doing in the show. so steve carell, your ex fake boss from the office. >> better real boss than fake boss. for sure. >> seth: and he and his wife created this show. >> yes. >> seth: and how would you describe it? it's like a police procedural, but obviously this is not -- this is a comedy. >> yes, this is a comedy. it's really silly. it's deeply, deeply silly. but it's basically like, you know, there's so many procedurals on tv now that i think everybody is very aware of the cliches -- >> seth: right. >> and the tropes and the kind of, you know, the stereotypes and the archetypes on those shows. so we're kind of poking fun of that in the tone of "airplane." >> seth: yeah. >> the movie "airplane." >> seth: as much fun as an
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>> not an airplane. >> seth: there are so many jokes in that "airplane" way. there is a joke a second. >> yes. >> seth: and you were playing it very straight. >> yeah. >> seth: is it difficult to play it straight when there's -- the volume of jokes is that high? >> it is, because when i first -- when steve and nancy first sent me the script, it was so funny and like so dumb. and you want to tell other -- [ laughter ] >> seth: it's world-class dumb in a great way. >> by the way, i'm saying that as a compliment. >> seth: yeah, yeah. there's a dog -- >> there's a dog. >> seth: -- that's a cop. >> yeah, we never -- his name is detective david hoffman. [ laughter ] and we never, ever point to the fact that he's a dog. he drives cars. [ laughter ] >> seth: when he shows up, you go, oh, that's a cop in the k-9 unit with a dog. and then you realize, no, he's a detective. >> no, he's just somebody's partner, david hoffman. [ laughter ] so, yeah, things like that. you have to play it so straight. because your instinct is to be like, look how funny this is right here. but you can't do that. i especially can't do it, because i'm -- i'm like, you know, i'm angie tribeca. >> seth: you're angie tribeca. you're one of the great names in
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there's also jay geils, your partner. >> yes. [ laughter ] >> seth: another friend of ours. >> hayes macarthur. >> seth: the wonderful hayes macarthur, you guys are very funny together. >> thank you. >> seth: that's excellent. >> there's danny tanner. >> seth: danny tanner, great. >> that's a "full house" reference. there's dr. scholl's. >> seth: great. >> there's just -- every name is delightful. >> seth: yeah, a full -- like you never miss a chance to like grab stupidity and just pull it close. >> yeah, we're trying to get as close to dumb at every moment as possible. >> seth: that's perfect. >> yeah. >> seth: also, your parents, quincy jones, peggy lipton, who was in the mod squad, they played your parents on the show. >> yes, they do. >> seth: was it nerve-racking to have them? i've had my parents on the show. it's always fun, but it's always a little bit more nerves -- breeze having your parents there. >> no, it's a thing. i mean, my parents are really cool, but like they're my parents so they're born to sort of make me feel embarrassed. [ laughter ] like, dad, god! so, you know, just hope that they're on their best behavior and they don't say anything
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and they were cool. they were great. >> seth: yeah, they're the coolest parents on earth. >> i know. >> seth: i mean, you have quincy jones and peggy lipton. shame on you for being ashamed of them. >> i know, i know, i know. >> seth: i do remember years ago you were on a different show and i remember we went over to your dad's house to watch it and it was really great, because your dad, quincy jones arguably the coolest dude on earth and he couldn't figure out how his remote worked. and i was like, oh, that's all dads. [ laughter ] >> he's not an av guy, he's just a great musician. but that show actually wanted -- do you remember? >> seth: yeah! >> that was sort of -- that was the serious version of this show. it was on tnt. and i played an ex navy s.e.a.l. who -- with the lapd and i was like seriously running after the perps. >> seth: so this is like a full like 12 years later, you have come full circle. and now you're, "angie tribeca." >> making fun of myself. >> seth: yeah, there you go. your family, cool from the top down. you have a nephew who you directed a music video for him. >> yes. >> seth: and i love this music video, because you're really embracing some '90s looks. >> yes. >> seth: talk a bit about what these '90s looks are. i'm gonna hold them up.
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>> seth: and now tell me true or false if you ever rocked these looks. >> 100%. did you rock that? >> yes! >> seth: you did? yes. >> seth: my god, you were so much cooler than i was. >> boots, bandanas, jersey. >> seth: that one? >> that's a direct rip from the mary j. blige "real love" video. >> seth: gotcha. there's a lot of tributes in your video. >> yeah, like direct steals. >> seth: oh, yeah. this one i really like. >> that's from the keith sweat "twisted" video. >> seth: okay. >> that's kevin campbell, by the >> seth: what's that? >> seth: oh, my god. what's the actual name of the sorry. >> it's called "slip and rewind." >> seth: "slip and rewind." this is a good version of like three hot looks. >> that's my tlc tribute. >> seth: that's great. [ laughter ] >> t-boz, left-eye, chilli. that's from the "baby baby baby" video. >> seth: did you enjoy directing your nephew's video? >> it was a dream come true. >> seth: that's great. >> because i'm stuck in the '90s. >> seth: as a person you're stuck in the '90s? >> as a person i'm stuck in the '90s. so to be able to share that with the world is really nice for me. >> seth: that's great. one last thing i want to talk about. i'm, you know, alexi's expecting. about to have a baby. >> yes. >> seth: and i'm very excited, 'cause i feel like -- [ cheers and applause ] >> i can't believe you're going to be a dad!
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>> you were my fake boyfriend like ten years ago. >> seth: fake boyfriend and they were we were -- we were a fake couple on a cartoon. the cartoon "the awesomes," we were a couple. and we -- our characters had a baby on "the awesomes." >> that's right. >> seth: so, i feel like that's the start. here i am with our cartoon baby. which i feel like that's definitely what our baby would look like. >> your baby is gonna look exactly like that. >> seth: exactly like that. no matter what, we're gonna give it that hairstyle. >> so cute. >> seth: so, thank you so much. because any time like alexi says like, "will you please read one of these parenting books?" i'm like, dude, i've had a cartoon baby. [ laughter ] i am so ahead of the game. >> i got it. >> seth: you do not have to worry. i know how this works. if they cry, you just write them out of the next scene. [ laughter ] thank you so much for being here. [ cheers and applause ] the show is really funny. rashida jones. check out the premier of "angie tribeca" this sunday on tbs. and then there's a marathon. >> marathon, yes! >> seth: this is really cool. you can watch all 10 episodes of "angie tribeca." when's that? >> over and over again. you can start sunday night and they're airing the whole season
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>> seth: that's fantastic. that's a lot of really well-thought stupid really funny comedy. >> that's right. >> seth: we'll be right back with khloe kardashian. [ cheers and applause ] why fit in when you were born to stand out. the 2016 nissan altima has arrived. adventures from $599, plus up to $300 to spend at sea. come seek the royal caribbean.
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as long as you love me, it's alright bend me shape me, any way you want me of your life. sleepia technology adjust any way you want it the bed that moves you. only at a sleep number store. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. our next guest is one of the
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kardashians." her new show, "kocktails with khloe" debuts january 20th on fyi and her book "strong looks better naked" is available now. please welcome to the show, khloe kardashian! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome! >> so happy to be here. >> seth: you look wonderful. >> why, thank you. >> seth: and congratulations. you're entering the talk show welcome aboard. >> i am. you know, not as intense as you. >> seth: am i intense? >> well no, not you. show. [ laughter ] tell me everything about it and i'm coming at you hard, here. [ light laughter ] >> oh, my gosh! >> seth: that's how we do it here. >> five days a week is a little much. >> seth: that's true, we do -- what is -- the format of your show is very different. >> "kocktails with khloe," of course, with a k. >> seth: yes, with a k. >> and mine involves drinking.
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loose. [ cheers ] yeah! a little loose. >> seth: don't get excited because there's one alcoholic here. [ laughter ] >> there's one. one is all i need. >> seth: that's true, that's true. >> yeah, and you've got to have alcohol here to loosen people up a little more. >> seth: it's true. a few times we've had drinks on the show and it's a lot more fun doing it when people are drinking. >> isn't it? >> seth: it's great. >> and i have drinking games, and it will just be fun. and i have hidden cameras too, so i have 22 hidden cameras so a closed set. >> seth: if there's 22 people will be able to see them. that's too many to hide. [ laughter ] >> well, no, they're not like -- they're not like this. like i know i'm being filmed. >> seth: okay, gotcha. >> a glass of champagne nearby. >> seth: do you tell people when they come over it's a talk show or do you just surprise them later? [ laughter ] >> they don't know. my house is rigged, and that's really the talk show. >> seth: has anyone -- i know you've done test shows, haven't done the show yet. has anyone gotten too drunk? >> yeah. i got my -- well, i didn't get my mom drunk. my mom -- [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, she's old enough to take responsibility. >> she is. that woman starts drinking at like 2:00 in the afternoon. [ laughter ] it's wild. but she was doing my test show, and she had one too many and i
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this girl is a beast. >> seth: oh my gosh. >> and she was just drinking away. and is i was like, i can't reel you in. but it was a good test. so i have to learn if someone gets too -- robbed out, i can reel them back in. >> yeah. >> seth: it's good to test with your mom first. >> i was like, i love you, but i time. >> seth: now that was a test has she asked to do the real show? >> yes. she said -- i'm filming this coming monday, and she said, oh, my god, i can't wait. can i be a guest again? and i was like i love you, you can sit in the dressing room, but you can't. [ laughter ] she was stressing me out, and it's my mom so i was so much more frustrated with her. >> seth: yeah. >> i was going to kill her. >> seth: that weirdly stops being a fun talk show and starts being an episode of "intervention." >> yes! >> seth: when you're like you need to stop drinking! [ laughter ] >> that's what i should be doing. >> seth: there you go. >> intervention. >> seth: now, your show, "keeping up with the kardashians," is that format is such that i would imagine your fans feel like they know you more than they know people on other television shows they
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>> yeah. >> seth: like, did they approach you probably differently than they approach other celebrities they see? has that been the case? >> well, i, of course, don't know anything else but my fame. i hate saying that. but my own fame. >> seth: sure, that makes sense. but i've been around other -- either publicists or something. like i've never seen -- like people who know other people in the industry. like i've never seen people feel so comfortable just to say anything to you guys. and i don't know. but we share so much of our lives that they do. and i remember one time i was at bed bath and beyond and someone was like, "oh, my god, hey, let me tell you, if you want to have that baby, this is the position you need to have it." [ laughter ] and i was like, is this a part of the bed bath and the beyond? [ laughter ] i was like, what? i was so blown away. and then i looked down and she had a name tag and i realized she worked there. i thought i knew her. i was like, who just gives someone sex positions that you don't know? [ laughter ] >> seth: and at bed bath and beyond. >> but -- i know. but, i mean, good intentions. they're trying to help. >> seth: right.
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>> seth: and how did the positions work? >> i'm not pregnant! so they didn't work. >> seth: it didn't work, oh, my god, have you written a letter to bed bath and beyond? [ laughter ] >> i should file a complaint. >> seth: there you go. i want to talk about your book, as well. "strong looks better naked." i was going to write a book with the same title. now you took it, i can't. [ laughter ] >> i know, sorry. >> seth: now, i have heard, is this true? that you -- it was harder than you thought to write this book. >> yeah. i didn't realize how like emotionally attached i was going to get to it. and then every word it's like -- i had a ghost writer that was helping me. and i would -- we would do everything together. then he would go put everything in writers format. >> seth: just for people who don't know. that's not a ghost who helps you write it. that's a writer who doesn't put his name on it. >> it's a real person. he helps me write it. and yeah, not a real ghost. but sometimes if the words weren't -- i fell so in love with it and i was super controlling, believe it or not. girls are controlling. and i would -- i probably rewrote it like 18 to 20 something times. >> seth: are you happy with how it turned out? >> yeah, i love how it turned out. >> seth: that's great. >> but you can tell it's from my
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>> seth: very good. sorry, ghost. >> yeah, sorry ghost. [ laughter ] bye. bye, ghost. >> seth: one last thing i want to ask about "keeping up with the kardashians." obviously, you have your family. have there ever been times when you're watching an episode and you hear something your sisters said about you like for the first time on the show? >> all the time. >> seth: do you ever see that and react and think, why -- what? >> yeah, no. all of the time. and we will have, like, evil groups -- texts going on. like, what? okay? for example, in the hamptons when kourtney and i were out there filming, i know i gained some weight. that's okay. >> seth: yeah. >> kourtney was pregnant so i felt i had the right to eat everything she did. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's the support. you were supporting. >> i was supporting her! and kimberly was like, "dang, khloe's ass is so fat." [ audience ohs ] why couldn't she just tell me? and i didn't know until three months later until i watched on the episode. [ laughter ] so i said why couldn't you just tell me, you could have motivated me to lose some weight. >> seth: but instead, she like just dropped -- >> she just completely, yeah. >> seth: a time bomb that was going to go off in three months. >> right?
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but it happens all of the time. >> seth: now, you might not know this about talk shows. one of the rules is, when somebody has you on as a guest, you've got to repay the favor. so i look forward to my first drink. >> oh, my god, yes! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: khloe kardashian everybody. "kocktails with khloe" permieres january 20th on fyi, and "strong looks better naked." is availible in bookstores now. we'll be right back with rachel bloom. oh my gosh, stephanie. we're, like, so goth. we're, like, goth goth. sfx: knocks on door. honey? i'm dying my hair, mom. hair dye? no, not in my bathroom! relax, mom. honey, just let me in! sfx: door rattling. no. tiffany! no.ptiffany! it's just purple. teenage daughter? get scrubbing bubbles. kill 99.9% of germs and destroy dirt and grime. you only need scrubbing bubbles disinfecting cleaners for 100% problem solved. we work hard, so you
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody! our next guest is the co-creator and golden globe winning star of the critically acclaimed new show, "crazy ex-girlfriend." which returns to the cw on january 25th. let's take a look. hey sexy stranger come back to my place and i hope you're not a
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kiss me baby all over the place and please don't be a murderer please don't be a murderer murderer sorry i'll stop talking let me get back to playin with your thing you got a beautfiul ass strong ass arms is that a gun? it's just your penis [ laughter ] have you been tested for stds >> seth: please welcome to the show, rachel bloom, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: well, well, well, congratulations. let me tell you something. i'm watching the golden globes. you win. we already have you booked. i feel like i hit the jackpot. i was so happy. >> oh, thank you. >> seth: congratulations.
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the night, you were one of the first winners -- >> thank god! >> seth: absolutely the most enthusiastic winner of the night. it was fantastic. >> thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: and some of us don't know. a lot of us -- very few golden globe winners in the room. what's it like carrying it around all night? >> okay. i mean, this is the most high-class problem i've ever had. but it's really heavy, and i don't work out. i have no -- i mean, you know -- you see. [ laughter ] and so it really was like i found myself like doing triceps curls with it, because that's about the like pounds that i lift when i'm actually trying to work out. >> seth: gotcha. >> so i woke up with sore arms, but i couldn't tell anyone and be like, "i'm so sore from carrying around my globe!" [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, nobody wants to hear that. >> no one cares. >> seth: the show is fantastic. >> thank you so much. >> seth: congratulations. >> that means -- i really respect you. >> seth: an inventive premise, it is an hour-long musical about a girl who moves across the country to follow a guy, basically.
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that she has amorous intentions. >> yeah. >> seth: how did you come up with this premise? like, what led you to this as an idea? >> well, i've been doing music videos for like four, four and a half years, and my co-creator, aline brosh mckenna, who's a wonderful screenwriter. she wrote "devil wears prada," "27 dresses," "we bought a zoo," "morning glory," she's brilliant. she saw my music videos. i get an e-mail saying cbs studios and aline brosh mckenna, wanna meet with you to discuss a potential musical television show. and in my music videos i'd been exploring ideas like femininity and kind of like the ugly side of pretty things that pop music doesn't explore. "sex with a stranger" is a perfect example of that. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> seth: and there are so many -- a wonderful one about how women get ready for a date a lot different than men do. and women do a lot of stuff and men do nothing. >> they wax their ass [ bleep ]. check it out. [ laughter ] if you haven't -- i wax my ass [ bleep ]. i won a golden globe. >> seth: she won a golden globe.
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[ cheers and applause ] don't you judge her! don't you judge her! but it's so wonderful. and it's just such a nice balance. congratulations on pulling it off. >> thank you. >> seth: i don't think it's an easy thing to pull off. and you pull it off. and i also -- i'm not -- proud i feel is maybe a little patronizing. but -- you were an intern at snl -- >> i was. >> seth: when i worked there. >> i was. >> seth: and by the way, i'm gonna just be honest. i did not remember that. [ laughter ] >> oh, but interns -- first of all there's like 15 -- >> seth: interns come and go, yeah. >> i was there for a semester. i was also in the writer's room -- i was in the writer's area where you -- i mean, this is boring. i'll give you guys all a lecture of the snl layout later. >> seth: but the interns did sit right outside my office. so be honest, did you ever catch -- was there anything interns said about me -- what was my rep? >> okay, so here's what i have to preface this with. nobody remembers when someone's pleasant to them. >> seth: okay. >> right? you only remember -- >> seth: i hate how you're prefacing this.
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>> seth: i hate this preface. >> yeah, yeah, you only remember when someone's like, overwhelmingly -- like, i remember one time i was an intern when i was an intern there, i was going out in the snow to get coffee, 'cause that's what you do. because you guys write until like 4:00 a.m. >> seth: sure. >> and alec baldwin was the host and he was like, "are you going out in the snow to get coffee?" and i was like, yeah. and he's like, "no, no, you're taking my car." and me and some other interns got to take alec baldwin's car to get coffee. >> seth: oh, i'd never do that. >> like, i will remember that forever. but so you don't -- or you remember when someone's like mildly rude, 'cause it's a good story. >> seth: this guy gave you a car! are you sure it wasn't me? [ light laughter ] okay, keep going with your story. so, anyway. >> were you in "glengarry glen ross?" so here's -- there was one story that i did hear. this wasn't me. but someone went down to hale and hardy to get you a salad. >> seth: okay. >> and they came back and it was the wrong salad. >> seth: okay. >> and they were like, "oh, my god. i'm so sorry." >> seth: so their fault. okay, keep going. [ laughter ] no, i just wanna make sure. okay, keep going. i'm sure i was super clear. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. you were super clear.
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hardy got it wrong. >> seth: okay, whatever. i didn't. keep going. [ laughter ] >> and, again, this is such a minor -- but they gave you the salad and they were like, oh, my god. i'm so sorry it's the wrong salad. do you want me to get you another one? and you went, "nope, i guess we can work with this." [ laughter ] and you like slammed the door. >> seth: so i didn't make them get a second salad! give it up! [ cheers and applause ] the bummer -- the real bummer of that story is the way you did it makes me 100% sure it's true. i was like, oh, that's definitely how i'd do it. >> it was just like, "nope, guess we can work with this. and i wasn't even there." i just think the intern's impression was like -- and that intern was kate mckinnon. >> seth: oh, no! [ laughter ] you mentioned you sort of came up doing youtube videos. and that's how you were discovered. youtube videos -- obviously yours are very successful, because they led to this television show but also youtube commentators notoriously awful people. were there ever any comments in the same way that you remember the negatives more than the positives? >> oh, yeah, absolutely. >> seth: any brutals?
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[ laughter ] and it's -- it's not even the 'cause some have been like you should kill yourself. just because i'm a woman. [ laughter ] and that's what you say to women on the internet. you're fat and you should die, because fat people should die and all women are -- >> seth: hey, they put a lot -- they put a lot of thought into that. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. as they're just like -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: golden globe! >> golden globe! [ laughter ] i can't picture a guy masturbating and not be angry about it. [ laughter ] any time i do an impression of a guy jerking off it's always like -- "oh! i hate my penis!" [ laughter ] >> seth: for me, it's like, oh, it's the wrong salad! [ laughter and applause ] oh, oh. all right. so i assume it's a dude. some guy wrote on a video i was
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stinks. so here's the thing. i can't -- [ laughter ] so it's like -- this is like five years later. i can't -- i don't know if that means, "she looks like she has a stinky butt." >> seth: right. >> which, i do. as does everybody. >> seth: yeah. >> or if it's like, "she looks like her butt stinks." like she looks as bad as her butt, stinks. >> seth: oh, i've got it. >> and like i've gone over this with numerous people. [ laughter ] and we've tried to figure out what they mean. >> seth: have you ever thought of reaching out to the author? >> i was almost going to, and maybe i will tonight. actually, you guys can see the comment, it's on a friend's video called, "college and pajamas." it's a video by a sketch group, greg & lou. and there's a comment on there from a couple years ago that says, "she looks like her butt stinks." and if you guys want to comment on it, ask the author what he or she was thinking.
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[ laughter ] >> i would appreciate that. >> seth: that's great. well, i don't think either are true. i'm gonna take c, none of the above. >> thank you. >> seth: yeah, i mean it, too. >> oh, my god. thank you. [ laughter ] >> seth: congratulations, rachel such a delight having you here. [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, thank you! >> seth: rachel bloom, everyone. "crazy ex-girlfriend" returns to the cw january 25th with new episodes airing monday night. we'll be right back.
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